The week of the rape mail…

by whatiwastryingtosaywas

This could be a busy blog post… and for that I apologise but it’s been a long week, starting with…

Dear WIWTTSW,

An undisputable fact is that most of us are products a failed relationships, divorce, one night stands, flings or even rapes, the list is endless.  Most children grow up in a fantasy world, hoping that one day their parents will get back together but when that doesn’t happen, the problem starts. Lifetime scars are created, many questions are unanswered, anger and frustration builds up then the bitterness starts.  

Psychologists have observed that children born out of wedlock are rebellious, emotionally unstable and more often than not they tend to fall in the same trap of having children out of wedlock.  It’s a vicious cycle   

Your are therefore invited to come and have your single parenting questions answered.

What the fuck, guy?

Okay, so here are my questions. First of all… where did you get my information? And how did you know I am unwed? Do you know how pissed I am that your antiquated email has compelled me to use the word “unwed” in a sentence? I feel like a doddery 75 year old.

Why are the children of rape included as part of a list of human choice options and when is that child going to hope his parents get back together? Oh man you have peeved me off…

Oh, and who the great scott fuck do you think you are mailing a random pregnant woman with nightmare stories of how her kid is going to suffer because she’s not married?

I am a child of a single parent home. And I am just fucking fine, thank you very much. Now, remove my email from your mailing list or I will be sure and cause the types of havoc your happily married mother warned you about.

Event number 2 happened yesterday – with our 32 week scan – but was a run on from the videos we watched of natural and C births during ante natal classes a few weekends back.

Me: I thought feelings of impatience are only to be expected from week 36! What the eff, Doc?

Dr B – Gives me his *let me entertain her or she’ll stab me* chuckle. No, really, I do think he likes me. Kinda.

Dr B: So, we’re due on the 21st?

Me: Are we sure about this?

Dr B: You are pushing, aren’t yo…?

Me: Nope.

Dr B: No pushi…?

Me: Nooooope.

Dr B: Okay, so no pushing then?

Me: Uhhhh… that’s a negatory.

RESULT! All going well, and we’ll be expecting our son on the 14th January 2013. He will be a Capricorn. Born on The Day of the Integrator (in case any of you were wondering about the poll). He will be neatly sliced from his mother’s uterus and will go on to live a happy life regardless as to whether his father lives under the same roof as he does or not.

And lastly, look at this! We are stem celling and when I read stories like this I know it’s worth the money and effort. For those of you (and there were quite a surprising number in our ante natal classes who weren’t) not considering it, think again, please.

Advertisements