Life? You and me… we needs to talk…

by whatiwastryingtosaywas

So we get Hudson home and are happy days. He has a post op cough, which doesn’t seem to be budging but nobody else was worried so why should we be? We’re home and we decide cos everything looks good, we’re going to go ahead and sign for that super expensive home so we can move Hudson out of the moderno flat and into a place that has a garden and is a little more kiddiefied.

Life... you suck

The cough was *not* a post op cough. What it *was* was pneumonia. Yes. Pneumonia. And it didn’t end there. Following a visit to his paed on a Sunday after we’d found his temperature to be 39.0 celsius, Hudson was swiftly booked back into hospital with an unknown infection (bacterial) and pneumonia in his upper left lobe (y’know, of his lungs). According to his paed, he was as close to death as he’d ever be at that moment. Fuck me, if we thought his heart surgery was a trying time, this bout was to be the most insane period of his life to date. And ours.

Y’see, we were prepared for the heart op, we were not prepared for the infection. Hudson was poked and prodded, injected and stuck with needles for blood letting, and force fed medication for 12 days. All through this, he got better and better and this is the part that counts cos he’s home now (in his new home) and doing extremely well by all accounts. Every time he coughs, I worry and we check his temperature a bit more often than is normal for parents, but he’s home and healthy and starting his life.

We still don’t know the cause of the infection but we suspect it was his stay in general ward post heart op. He’s still on anti-biotics for five more days, which are not fun and definitely not his favourite thing in the world, but they’re better than the IV anti’s he was on and it’s better than the injected anti’s they wanted us to give him.

My son is gaining weight and starting to learn everything he would have already learnt had he been born without his heart defect. His hands are starting to reach for his bottles and dummies, his already strong neck is slowly strengthening even further and soon he’ll be rolling around and sitting up.

It all looks very good. And I’m happy, except… We are interviewing nannies in an effort to find the person who will take over his care when I return to work on May 1st and I am trying desperately to make peace with the fact that I have to leave my son in someone else’s care very soon. I always swore I wouldn’t be one of those mothers but I don’t think you have a choice. There isn’t a connection like this in life except for this. I don’t want to leave him. I want to win the lotto and stay home so I can be sure and see his first steps and hear his first word (which, hopefully, is mama or dada and not gogo – no offence).

There is little doubt, the last few steps in our lives have been arduous and testing ones. We’ve been through a lot, Hudson especially, and are now, because life is done with swatting us around as a cat swats a cricket, wondering what on earth we’re going to do with this blog. I think pictures of his poop might be a way forward cos man alive this kid can crap.

But ain’t he just gorgeous…

My son, my hero